So Wrong

Regularity of Publishing

Given that I have at least a month before the ms reviews arrive, I am attempting to complete an article to ensure that I have checked the tenure box entitled "regularity of publishing." But my list of "possible" articles have almost reached the length of an article. I am considering putting the list on a dartboard and employing some elementary physics to make the Choice. I am also wondering if there might not be an intellectual version of Activia for academics.

What does "regularity of publishing" mean, anyway? Is it better to produce a series of not-so-great publications for lesser journals or a few well placed exemplar articles? Wouldn't our fields be better off if we did the latter? Do people in the higher up recognize that some fields are based on books, which considerably reduce article output? Do they recognize that the average 4-6 week turnaround of a scientific paper vastly differs from the 1-2 year turnaround of a social science/humanities essay (a turnaround that often gets longer the better the journal)?

On the Road Again...

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be in a field where the "laboratory" is not many, many miles away from one's house. I'm returning to the suitcase life, though with an even more fascinating twist than when I was in grad school. I am literally to be homeless for a month, from when my renter arrives until my new lease in another city on the other coast begins. I am after suggestions for filling this fallow period. I have already contemplated the pros and cons of the following strategies:

Option 1: Pitching my pup tent (after buying one) in my office and investing in frozen microwave dinners.

Option 2: Going on massive tour of country, making sure to ask strangers to take my picture against every monument that might come up in a big lecture course.

Sabbatical News

Introducing New Authors on Juniorprof

So I have always wanted this blog to be a site of conversation, as opposed to a site of display. Ergo, I am tired of talking generally to myself. Juniorprofs (or almost juniorprofs or not that far from juniorprofness) please audition. My first guest juniorprof is risatrix, who has not only commented but made me laugh. Welcome, disaffected juniorprof who has already collaborated in making the world go round. BTW, a very good wheel could up your chances of becoming the third or fourth juniorprof. A contest, as it were.

I will work on anonymous display. But basically you need to choose a name, sign on, and lie about who you in fact are. (Oh, and make a wheel).

Note to Self: Reinvent the Wheel

Reinventing the wheel is a tried and true tradition. I say embrace your wheel: give it a long skirt and scent it with patchouli, decorate it with silver studs and tattoos, or attach a paisley tie. There is nothing wrong with the wheel--it makes the world go round. The more the merrier; novelty is not an issue.

I originally fought against the reinvention of the wheel. This struggle proved a fruitless waste of my time. I now accept that I shall, in fact, reinvent the wheel multiple times in my life, in all sorts of ways and mostly unwittingly. So much to say; so much of it has already been said; so little time to investigate what other people are saying when one is trying to talk.

Besides, practice at reinventing the wheel should provide excellent training for when one is explicitly asked to do so for those who are not yet aware of your particular wheel.

If you were reinventing the wheel, what would that wheel look like?

Writer's Block

The Deadline looms. (Thunder rolls, lightning strikes, etc. etc.)

Yet I am sitting here deconstructing terms as if in the midst of that deconstruction I will suddenly unearth what I'm writing about. I'm trying to write a state-of-the-field essay on the biggest, broadest, most useless topic I can imagine (well, that's not entirely true--I could imagine worse topics). I have moved through the following thought process:

1. Only people with gray hair (entirely gray, not just a few strands here or there) should ever be asked to write such a thing.
2. All meta-discussions of field directions are extended exercises in making shit up.
3. Why exactly did I agree to do this?
4. Perhaps juniorprofs are peculiarly suited to see new directions?
5. Wouldn't it be cool if I could use this time to read all those newly published books that I have failed to get to?
6. Who has time to read?
7. Putting the covers over my head seems like a grand idea.

Juniorprof Goes on Vacation

I have lost the art of vacationing. It happened somewhere after my comps in grad school. I'm not sure where it went, but suddenly all of my travels became work-oriented (research, conferences, more research, more conferences). So when it suddenly came to taking an actual vacation, I was stumped. I slept through my alarm clock, woke up fifteen minutes before departure because (thankfully) my juniorprof friend decided to find out if I needed something from McDonalds, put my deodorant into my bag instead of my blackberry, and thus arrived at my vacation spot with no ability to communicate with the world. And thus (being deprived of email and phone), I accidentally took a vacation.

A Socratic Dialogue: Ben Franklin and The Duck

The scene: a pleasant pastoral setting. Ben Franklin sits on the shore beside a pond. The Duck passes by him.
"Hello, Ben Franklin. What are you pondering today?"
"I am pondering the nature of industry."
"What is industry?"
"That, my duck friend, is the question."
"Can I help?" quacks the duck.
"I don't know. I think not. You always look so serene."
"Does serene mean 'paddling like hell to stay afloat?'"
Franklin pauses. "Yet, you are so unruffled," he muses. "Thus your industry is concealed. So serenity is concealed industry. Whereas I, though I wish to be industrious, do not even seem serene."
"You need to paddle?"
"Perhaps. Or need to seem to paddle."
"That's weird."
"Yes, I live on land. But in human terms, my efforts must be visible to others."
"That's weird too."
"Industry is not work itself. But the appearance of labor. Your pond conceals your labor; my effort shall conceal my sloth."

In actuality, Ben Franklin wrote, " I took care not only to be in reality industrious and frugal, but to avoid all appearances to the contrary. I drest plainly; I was seen at no places of idle diversion. And, to show that I was not above my business, I sometimes brought home the paper I purchased at the stores thru the streets on a wheelbarrow."

What do you think constitutes industry?

[post written in conjunction w/risatrix]

Posting on juniorprof

So I'm bemused by the level of silent traffic through this blog (visible through google analytics, which tracks numbers not people). Speak up! We all fear that if we express our perspectives then our universities might not want us after 6 or 7 years. Could happen. Probably won't. And why live in a state of fear? If any university cared that their junior folk were improving each other's skills, then I can also post Stallybrass and White's interpretation of the carnivalesque...

A reminder that "anonymous" is "anonymous."

Writing through Metaphor

A good metaphor can do wonders for whatever project. With my book, I like to imagine that I am tending to a garden: weed a bit here; plant seeds there; add some tasteful flowers; layer some mulch; contemplate sticking in a half-grown tree. Metaphors provide a sense of process, a rhythm that can sustain long months of revisions and re-revisions. But I'm in dire need of a new one to help me get started with a review essay that was due, like, yesterday. I think I hate review essays. Any advice?

Juniorprof under Pile of Papers...

Nuff said..

Juniorprof trying to transition

I forgot that when classes end, service and grading don't. Another mile suddenly appeared at the end of the marathon, right when the mental buzz of all the summations of brilliance in class could have led directly into creative energy for my own writing. I am now suffering from lactic acid buildup in the brain. Any suggestions about how best to transition, when that last party, last graduation ceremony, last committee meeting for the year finally occurs?

Minority Issues

I was reminded recently how easily one can forget the peculiarities of minority life in the academy, even when one is a minority of sorts. Whether that minority status stems from sexual orientation or ethnic or racial identity, the academy is still built for white men. That is not to say that I don't have some lovely white male colleagues, but rather that the institution of post-graduate learning was structured for a particular exclusivity, one founded generations ago in the western expansion of Europe. Those walls are crumbling, but we fight different parts of them. I have my own battles, but I am more interested in yours. What is minority life in the academy like for you? What issues matter (when one gets through the idiocies of daily life)? What would truly improve your experience?

Academic Spring Cleaning

The air is full of pollen and the birds have become an inordinately early alarm clock. It's spring. My office is the next space to be cleaned. I can no longer see my desk. Peering out at students between large stacks of unfiled lectures, publishing fliers, conference announcements, student papers, drafts of yet-unpublished articles and book chapters, articles to read, etc. is starting to drive me nuts. So I am issuing a general call for all junior faculty to indulge themselves in a bit of spring cleaning. Good for the soul; good for the mind.

Juniorprof playing hooky

I'm supposed to be at a faculty event. But the sun is out, the birds are singing, and the Riesling is flowing. And I couldn't find a parking space. So, I'm playing hooky.

Playing hooky is a lost art for junior faculty. I have, for instance, discussed the nature of the superego, the poignant critique of Kara Walker's art, and the latest teen idol movie, which seems really for thirty-somethings.

Is anyone else playing hooky?

Is Tenure Liberating?

From Farley Katz in March 23rd's New Yorker.

Insomnia in the Academy

So I get really tired of dreaming that I am teaching.  I already have to spend multiple hours in the classroom and in preparation for being in the classroom, so why should I also have to spend the wee hours of the morning dream-prepping for a class that does not exist or trying to figure out why I have no trousers on??

I am taking a commiserative poll.  What's your best/worst teaching dream?

Do academics have image disorders?

WebMD defines "dysmorphia" as a body image disorder. No doubt standing in front of students multiple times a week can bring on bouts of self-alienation, but perhaps there is something more to academic dysmorphia.

First, the lack of publication parties suggests to me that we are not getting the most out of our Moments.

Second, the never-ending process that is academia has a tendency to reduce those Moments into moments.

Third, different fields have different time-lines for publication. In my field, two years is a normal wait between the submittable draft and the final beautiful product, which then takes another few years to get "digested" by the field. By that time I don't even remember what I wrote, much less have Investment in it.

If you looked in a "skinny mirror" that corrected academic dysmorphia, what would you see? Did you mail out copies of your articles and books to everyone? Including your dean?

Juniorprof taking the day off

A day off? What does one do with oneself? My secular approach to Easter has involved mimosas, a pastry that looked like a duck, new summer sandals, and some guilt about not grading that stack of papers. After the mimosas, however, I am feeling less guilty.

What are your strategies for taking the day off?

Notes From the Coffee House

Behind every good book is a good coffeehouse. (In my opinion).

Locating the best environment to support your writing endeavors is a must. Me, I like the coffeehouse, perhaps because I practically lived in any one of several hip coffeehouses as an undergrad and, being a modern nomad, nowhere else quite says "home" to me. This institution, invented as one scholar suggests in the meeting of virtuosi culture and popular consumer behavior, has all the ingredients of being an office (table, chair, wifi, coffee) without being an office (colleagues, students, bad coffee, requests of more work, etc.). Not that I dislike my office, but institutional settings are not good for my writing muses (except for the grant-writing muses, which for some reason live in my real office).

Every coffeehouse has a personality. Take the one I am currently sitting in: there are birds all over the walls, which I am finding somewhat disturbing, but which say "this is a trendy spot where local artists seek self-display." A pastor chats with a congregant about his future ("I am in the south after all"). The radio is tuned to NPR ("progressive") and I have the option of trying four different types of regular coffee ("we are not Starbucks"). I wonder if the personality of the coffee shop somehow makes its way into our writing, some sense of space that shapes our prose voice or rhythm?

The Grading Blues

I have the grading blues. Great papers and terrible papers are not my problem. It's those in the middle--that awkward sentence that I can't figure out how to fix, that slightly-off-the-mark summary that is sort of right, but not right, that structural issue that requires a lot of thinking to discern. It gives me a headache.

How many minutes per paper? How much commentary? Do you type your comments or write them at the end of the paper?

Help, help... I have the grading blues.

Bloopers

What Not To Do: Prof caught doing work for other class in class...

I had this brilliant idea. Use group work time in one class to tackle that HUGE stack of papers that was supposed to be done yesterday. I read four lines of one essay. Three students, in about as many seconds, inquired into what I was doing. I think they feared I was grading their papers, but I can't quite shake the look of surprise when they discovered they were papers from another class...

Sigh. So much for multi-tasking.

Winning Back the Class

So every juniorprof has a moment (or two or three) where the classroom encounter fails to produce that rosy meeting of the minds. The realities of being stared at for an hour or more crash into the misty-eyed expectations of erudite conversation and we look woefully out at the questioning (or sleeping) faces of our young audiences. On the one hand, this experience means that we will all have a fondness for Kafka. On the other hand, those of us whose graduate schools failed to include an acting class need simpler approaches to the all-important: How to Win Back the Class.

Some Strategies for Winning Back the Class (which need some work, please share!)

1. Bring Cookies
2. Group Work
3. Invent Stand-up Routines
4. Make liberal use of Youtube clips
5. Reference Family Guy or The Office
6. Read Books entitled "Conversation Starters"
7. Practice Public Self-Disclosure
8. Invite Public Self-Disclosure
9. Revisit the Big Questions

How many conferences?

This is a question that plagues me. On the one hand, I have been told that conference papers do not a tenure case make. On the other hand, going to conferences enables you to meet people, perhaps impress them with your well-composed talk, and network, which does affect your ability to create a list of external tenure reviewers. For non-tenure-track folks, conferences also introduce you to people who might write letters for your job application or who might be in a position to hire you. So how many a year?

I sometimes wish that we gave papers like figure skaters or gymnasts delivered routines. You make one great paper per year and then go around delivering it to various audiences. Given how small many conferences are, this practice would perhaps be most useful. But given that we live in a different world, we can't (though people who have strategies for writing the same paper beneath different titles should chime in). So how many a year?

I say 2 or 3. Others can contradict me. But I also want to pre-warn interdisciplinary folks. I have gone to multiple conferences in the past year and I have never encountered audience overlap. A variety of perspectives is good, but you also need to establish a reputation in your primary field. Be strategic.

How many classes?

Creating classes takes time. Does this sound familiar? Get up. Write lecture. Teach said lecture. Go home. Write next lecture for other class. Teach said lecture. Etc. I'm amazed at my friends who teach 4-4 loads. I envision signage: Cruelty to Faculty.

A junior prof we know taught 14 new preps in three years. Her chair didn't realize her situation until she finally brought it to his attention (at which point he expressed horror). Some departments limit junior faculty to six new preps, which seems about right. Speak up! Remember to protect your time.

Strategies for protecting your time while also teaching fabulously:

1. Ask for a T/Th schedule
2. If you are lucky enough to have a T/TH schedule, prep your Th class on T and your T class on Th. Doing so lessens the anxiety of not finishing the prep work before the class and the likelihood of all-out brawls next to the copy machine.
3. If you are unlucky enough to be teaching MWF, don't make the mistake I made and plan lectures for all three days. Use films or Utube, group work (or if you have a large class, short group presentations), and research exercises on M and W. Friday should always be a discussion. They will thank you for breaking up the monotony of lecturing.
4. Involve your students in the process of teaching.
5. In the words of a wise assoc prof, each class has one point and three good visuals.
6. Remember that teaching is one of three jobs that you have. Great teaching doesn't happen when you are giving up your time in other areas to finish that damn power point.

So those are my strategies. They aren't perfect. What are yours?

How to Say NO

Saying no is perhaps the most important skill that a junior prof can learn. Women in particular have a harder time drawing professional boundaries. Learning to do so fast is essential. The book or article takes priority over Everything Else.

How not to say no:

1. Scream and run away
2. Drop drink in senior prof's lap
3. Apologize profusely
4. Say "Maybe"
5. Glare

Helpful strategies for honing your "No" Skills:

1. Call on associate prof to aid in defense.
2. Arrive with fictional child. If this does not work, use dog, dying grandmother, house fire, etc.
3. Invite colleagues generally to participate in the successful acquisition of your tenure.
4. Don't feel guilty under any circumstances
5. Practice smiling while saying No in front of mirror
6. Practice firm No with dog, fictional child, like-minded juniorprof
7. Remember that your book or article isn't a "personal" thing. This is your job.

Tell us about your experiences saying No.